you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
