Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
