i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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