he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
