I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
My feet surprised me
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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