Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
