New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
