I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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