This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
