Your mouth is God's brothel.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
