Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize