We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
