I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
