need another drink. this is the easiest way
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
