I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
