so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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