I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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