He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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