Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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