You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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