Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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