the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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