I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
