I didn't shave. On purpose
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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