Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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