God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
