help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
