remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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