i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Enjoy the penises
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize