does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
This house was built for laser tag.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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