Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize