well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Randomize
