hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
