I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
