Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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