Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
