i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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