does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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