its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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