i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
