first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
