how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
