I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
