If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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