good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
