the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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