And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
