I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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