My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize