just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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