i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
