seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
