a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize