he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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