Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
