..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
