i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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