Buhtt sex?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
