That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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