I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
the room spins SO much faster in panama
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
