actually, I'm a sock model
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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