she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
