whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
