he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize