I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Randomize
