hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
