Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I know her cup size but not her name....
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