he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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