Swine flu. Run for my life!
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
