Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
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I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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