butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
