He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
