Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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