Plan B is the new Plan A
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
