Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
